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Bro, since you want to be a pussy and whine, 

I hope you walk in on yo girl riding a man on your favorite blanket in bed,

I hope the ice cream falls to the ground every time you try to eat it, 

I hope that you meet your idol and they say fuck off,

I hope when you visit your family and open your phone it plays porn at max volume,

I hope you get disowned by your family,

I hope that you find the hottest girl and she rejects you by saying "EWWW GET AWAY".

have a shitty life